Becoming a Full-Spectrum Doula
This is part 3 of my doula journey - if you missed parts 1 & 2, check them out here!
I started as a postpartum doula, then became a birth doula…where else was there to go? You can’t get much younger than not yet born, right? My next steps took me to the parts of growing your family that no one talks about - what if your sweet baby doesn’t make it to their birth? Or everyone around you is pregnant…except you. Who is there supporting those difficult and often heartbreaking moments? I am.
My loss doula trainings have been the most emotionally difficult parts of my journey. It never ceases to amaze me how many people have experienced a loss…and how little they were encouraged to talk about it. Socially, it’s seen as an uncomfortable and “private” topic, but it’s often the time you need your village the most! When an adult dies, we shower the family with sympathy and support. “I’m sorry for your loss" and “they lived such an amazing life” flow freely, along with casseroles and funny “I remember when”s. But when your baby, the sweet, wanted, and loved little life doesn’t make it Earthside, the comments are often an uncomfortable “you can try again” or “they were too good for this world” or some other nonsense. It is hard to sit with someone in their pain, to be supportive and let them process their own feelings without a need to make ourselves more comfortable. Fertility struggles present many of the same challenges - no one wants to talk about it. What would they even say?
The value in being heard and being able to share your story is deeply important to me, and has finally led me to the current step of my journey. In 2022, I started graduate school to become a marriage and family therapist supporting the perinatal period. I’ve spent the last 15 years witnessing firsthand how many ways that all stages of growing your family change and mold us. Mental health care is a foundational part of understanding ourselves and how we can become the parents our children need us to be. There is a growing understanding in how deeply mental health can be affected during postpartum is growing, but still something many people suffer with in silence. Fear of being seen as a “bad parent” or “whining about things everyone deals with” minimize the very real and deep feelings that 1 in 5 new parents in the US will struggle with (according to the National Institute of Health).
I will continue to educate and advocate for families through all of the stages of growing - fertility, abortion and loss, birth, and my beloved postpartum. I believe that EVERY stage deserves to be supported in the way that works for your family. I invite you to check out my services page or contact me to create the customized support plan that’s right for you!